Bumper sticker:

Wag More, Bark Less

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him.

He drove around the neighborhood for some time with no luck.

Finally, he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.

“You mean the one following your car?” they asked.

“I know that dogs are pack animals, but it is difficult to imagine a pack of standard poodles…and if there was such a thing as a pack of standard poodles, where would they rove to? Bloomingdale’s?

–Yvonne Clifford, American actress

Two fleas are coming out of the movie theater and it’s raining very hard outside. One flea says to the other flea, “What are we going to do? Should we walk or wait for a dog?”

In order to keep a true perspective of your importance, you should have a dog that will worship you and a cat that will ignore you.

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him.

He drove around the neighborhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.

“You mean the one following your car?” they asked.

If a fire hydrant has H2O inside, what does it have outside?
Answer: K9P

I haven’t tried yet, but I guess this Jack Russel is faster than me

Jack Russell Balloon dog

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, “Get
out of here with that dog!”

The guy says, “But this isn’t just any dog…this dog can play
the piano!”

The bartender replies, “Well, if he can play that piano, you both
can stay…and have a drink on the house!”

So the guy sits the dog at the piano, and the dog starts playing
ragtime, a little swing, some Gershwin. The bartender is amazed
and patrons are enjoying the music.

Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff
of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy, “What
was that all about?”

The guy replies, “Oh, that was his mother. She wants him to be a
doctor.”

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.